On this week's How To Have Extraordinary Relationships, I talk to 'Victoria' about what happened when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She generously offered to come on the show for many reasons; one was to help other people who have cancer and also those around them but the other one is to talk about what many people fear; what do you do when you are told you have a major illness that will involve difficult decisions, surgery, chemo, pain etc and you are alone?
She is talking to me anonymously so that she can feel free to talk about everything with deep honesty.
When she was diagnosed with breast cancer, her world shifted overnight. Without a partner or close support network around her, she faced the long road of treatment largely on her own, navigating hospital appointments, difficult decisions, and the emotional weight that comes with serious illness.
Through surgery, treatment, and recovery, Victoria showed extraordinary courage. She learned to advocate for herself, to sit with uncertainty, and to find moments of light even in the hardest days. Her journey was not just about surviving illness, but about rediscovering her own strength and independence.
However it is also about how do you cope when there is no one there for you? It led Victoria to ask herself some various and serious questions; why did she not feel able to ask for help? Why did people not step up for her?
She came home, finally, after the end of reconstructive surgery, rounds of gruelling chemo, many night spent tried and alone - there was no party for her, no balloons, nothing (unlike many of the other patients she had met along the way)
This led her to take a long, hard, uncomfortable look at herself.....
Today, Victoria’s story is one of perseverance and quiet bravery, offering hope to others who may feel alone in their own battles.
But it is also a story of how we need people and find the courage to be vulnerable so that people CAN help us
Key points of the episode:
How the fact that she was alone (but with a full life) and how that became a key part of the story.
How deep down she did want to meet someone, but it was not her priority.
How she did not think in any way she was a candidate to getting cancer.
How she was getting shooting pains in her breast which was not a typical symptom of cancer.
The unpleasant tests, and the shock of the diagnosis.
How the mammogram originally came up clear.
The very invasive operation she had.....
Why the word cancer was understandably emotive for her.
How she handled most of it alone
How she has learned that the path is not linear.
How she processed her emotions.
How she could not plan (which is out of character) as the treatment path is not linear.
The financial difficulties she experienced.
The ongoing treatment she needed
How brilliant the medical team was- physically, but mental healthcare is needed.
How she felt about future physical intimacy.
Her life now, and what she is about.
Has this podcast inspired you and would you like to learn more?
You can reach out to Lucy, love coach, relationship counsellor, couples counsellor extraordinaire and author of "How to have extraordinary relationships with absolutely everybody".....
On:lucycavendishlovecoach.com
